Half Birthdays and other Happenings

My big little one is playing at my feet, and I am marvelling at his feats, and just how big he seems now. This reminds me that time is passing, and I haven't gotten this month's post out yet....I guess we've too busy loving life to write it all down. But William's meteoric growth and change reminds me too to take the time to capture the details, for remembering, and treasuring are also important.....look at how fast he has changed already.

So our little man turned 6 months this June. This seems to be a significant date both for him and me. For William I suppose it means he has passed from his tiny babyhood into being a bigger baby; for me, I am no longer the new, freaked out Mommy (Ok I still am sometimes). I've gotten used to, and even relish, my new role as 'Mum'. But the 6 month mark has also been a moment to evaluate how our 'new' family is functioning, and to bring some balance back for the grownups. William is the joy of our lives, but there are other good things about life, that I am ready to have again. Like time for Mommy, and pursuits that have nothing to do with the baby. I'm thinking up ways to get back to routine French lessons, do some regular creative writing, maybe get back to running....I'm not sure how this new routine will look yet, or how it will all work out, but the change is coming.....

Anyways, back to Will: his growth and change has been nothing short of incredible this month! He is very close to crawling, and has done many interesting moves in pursuit of learning this. First came 'super baby' where he would balance on his tummy and 'fly' with his arms and legs; then he figured out how to push his arms up and do a sort of inch worm manouever with his bum.....which got him moving backwards much to his frustration! Next he tried out the plank move from yoga, balancing on his hands and tippy toes with his body elevated in the air; and now he has figured out how to walk his legs forward, ending up in a downward dog position! Of course Downward Dog frequently falls over so William also has some new bruises to show off....he compares war wounds with the other babies at playgroup:)

He is also fascinated with his environment: nothing seems to small for his scrutiny. The cap off his diaper cream, a spoon, shoes and Daddy's hand are all worth a good look and likely a chew (no teeth yet, but he is sure drooly!). He also loves to scratch with his nails to explore the texture of things....which doesn't feel so good on our faces! William's fascination with the little things reminds me now interesting life really is.

The other big news: William started solids! And LOVES it! He leans foreward in anticipation of each bite looking exactly like a hungry baby bird. So far we've tried rice cereal, sweet potatoe, avacadoe and pears, and have had only 1 day where he rejected anything. He is also very interested in watching us eat, and wants to taste everything we have. He's a real Lamarre, loving his chow down!!

We're also working on getting a little more sleep. Now that William has begun solids, he 'should' have enough in his little tummy to get him through the night. But he is also accustomed to Mummy's company at night so has needed some convincing. We are letting him cry it out a bit at bedtime and at night, which I think is harder on Mum than babe. However, we have gotten a night or two where he sleeps most of the night, so progress is being made....

This has been a lot of change for Willsy, and at times he gets pretty frustrated. Normally he is an easy going, sweet tempered baby, but lately he has been a little fussier. Playtime also requires more parental intervention, due to the wobbliness. And so, the routine changes again.....with less time to attend to chores and housework, I have hired some help on a weekly basis. Leah is a friend's daughter, home from University for the summer. She and William have a mutual love affair, and I get a clean house and some time to myself. Its been good.

William also got to meet his Pops and Lola this month when they travelled from Victoria B.C. to meet him. After such a long trip, we were dismayed the William seemed frightened of Pop's moutache, but he quickly got over it. Together we travelled to Normandy to see Juno Beach and Mont St. Michel, and Will travelled with his customary cool. We all enjoyed the beautiful countryside, and got nice weather for walking Juno Beach. However, it was absolutely pouring when we got to Mont St. Michel, but on the upside this meant less crowds. We spent the night there (an intimate and romantic experience) and toured the Abbey before heading home. We also toured around Paris, but I think Pops and Lola were most impressed with the big grocery store!!

And finally William helped Daddy celebrate his first Father's Day with prezzies and pancakes in the mornging, and a wander in the nieghborhood in the afternoon. We stumbled onto our quartier's version of the Great Glebe Garage sale, called 'Vide Grenier' (empty attic). We passed up the baby food steamer for 35 euros (you kidding lady?? Its a garage sale!!) but did buy some cute overalls for Will for 1 euro! Now that's a bargain!

May at my House

Another month has flown past, full of blessings, chief among them the joy of watching our little one grow.

5 months seems to be a huge milestone developmentally as William adds to his repertoire of abilities almost daily! Some of his achievements are practical, such as the ability to use a 'pincer grasp'; others are just plain fun such as blowing raspberries! William is also able to roll over on his tummy from either direction (no more leaving him on the bed!!) and sometimes from his tummy back onto his back. He can nearly sit on his own, and stands with us holding him just by one hand. He smiles giggles and interacts well, and entertains us with an increasing repertoire of babbling which I call 'vocal stylings by DouDou'.

A highlight this month was William's first flight! Greg took me to Prague for a long weekend as an anniversary present, and of course our cutie pie tagged along. This trip also necessitated getting a Canadian passport for William, which was a nightmare.....4 trips to the Embassy and we still only have a temporary one......but I digress. The flight was sceduled for 7:30, and this being William's bedtime I thought it would be a disaster. But he surprised me (and probably always will) by settling down to nurse and nap like a seasoned flyer (not that most flyers nurse but you know what I mean!). He was equally unruffled on the return flight. This bodes well for future travel!

Another high was a visit from our good friends Angela and Derek (Angela and I work together at VAC, and we all lived in the same neighborhood) and their son Elliott. It was great to do a 'kid visit' as we got to see parks, zoos and almost every carousel in the city! William loved having a big kid around and laughed out loud when Elliott hopped on one foot. Angela and Derek kindly took William for us for a few hours so Greg and I could have a date on our wedding anniversary (#12). We chose to go see a movie together and it was nice to snuggle and eat popcorn from the same bag without being rushed.

We've done some enjoyable things around Paris too. Greg was thrilled when Team Canada played an exhibition hockey game against Team France in late April. The game was actually pretty good, with Canada only winning by one point, and the French went all out to make the team welcome. We all brought hockey jerseys, but it was too hot in the stadium to wear them for long; in fact the ice on the rink was melting! There was also a real rock concert atmosphere with racous tunes, fireworks and hordes of hollering fans.....all a bit to much for William. He enjoyed it more when I took him on a historical walking tour of the interesting and beautiful Promenade de Plantee (although apparently the Parisians hate this name as plantee means stuck in French, as in 'my computer is stuck'...). He also liked watching the Royal Wedding but not as much as Mummy did! Mummy also loved her visit to the hammam, a Turkish style spa. The experience would not be for everyone, but I loved stripping down and steaming away the stress, then getting the best massage of my life. Afterwards my friends and I lolled about on the haram style cushions and drank rosewater tea. Pretty hedonistic!

A final highlight was the reunion of our parenting class. What a thrill to see all the mummies looking slim with babies in arms, as well as their beaming dads. William, of course, was the cutest baby there and as the 'old man' of the group was much admired for his developmental prowess. His favorite part was playing with his girlfriend Samira, a pretty Irish lassie only a few weeks younger than himself. A future match, perhaps??

Pivos in Prague

Ok, enough about the baby already! Lets talk about travellin'!

We have just returned from a delightful long weekend in Prague. This was an exciting trip for us for several reasons. First, it has been high on our Bucket list of destinations since forever; second we were lucky to travel with our good friends the Jacksons; and finally the trip was William's first ever flight! And things went exceptionally well on all counts.

We set out late Friday afternoon, which meant we would be travelling right at William's bedtime. so I was trepidatious about his behaviour. But he was a gem. Both to and from, he settled happily down to napping and nursing, and no-one heard a peep from him (You could see the look of horror on our fellow travellers faces.....oh no they've got a BABY!!!! But he was awesome).

We were extremely impressed with our accomodations at Hotel Christie right from the start. Greg ordered a car for the 6 of us to get into town, with baby seat. Car was waiting for us when we arrived, seat properly installed, and we were efficiently whisked into town: 1 point for the hotel!

Then our room....did they think we were the high rollers, we wondered? We were installed in the top floor suite with King sized bed, gleaming bathroom and charming aerie that looked out over the spires of Prague. When they were unable to provide us with a baby cot for the first night (not a problem as the bed was enormous) the hotel sent us a gorgeous fruit tray as an apology. Breakfast each morning was 'full on' as Greg would say, which we happily partook of before setting our for fast paced days.

Since William has arrived, our ability and interest in researching our destinations has plumetted; lately we show up, look around, and wish we knew what we were looking at. So this trip we were doubly glad to travel with friends, and we rode their researching tailfeathers the whole way! This was only problematic when we took the tram seperately as Greg and I got completely lost, ended up in the suburbs of town. Kindly locals soon set us straight in a language soup of Czech, English and French.

We started with the top priority site as far as the lads were concerned: brew pubs! Our first stop was at a Medieval monastary that has been making beer or pivos, since the dawn of time....and time to perfect the recipe they obviously had, for it was delicious. It took several pints to wash down our heavy, satisfying potatoe pancakes, sausages and dumplings before -finally- doing some siteseeing.

We went to Prague castle, which was the usual hodge podge of buildings from different eras, and toured St Vitus cathedral, looking in admiration at Mucha's stained glass window. As interesting as the sites were, the view was the best part of this day, which gave us an appreciation for the charm and beauty of the city spread below our feet. We meandered back downhill, stopping to eat icecreams, shop for garnets, get 'walking beers' and goggle at the amazing architecture. On our way home we crossed the touristy but charming St. Charles Bridge which was alive with artisans and buskers. We returned to our aerie (Subway in hand...we don't get to eat dinner out these days) in time to watch the sun set over the city. That night we hosted drinks for the Jacksons and other friends we found out were in town, and we all enjoyed the nightly fireworks display over Prague Castle.

The next day our friends had to head home, so we (happy that we had another full day) set out on our own to explore Old Town and the Jewish Quarter. We watched the ancient Astrogical Clock spin and whir at the hour and waved to the trumpter posted on the turret. The cool interior of St Nicolas Church soothed both our sore feet and souls before heading to the Jewish Quarter.

Jews have had a strong presence in Prague since the Dark Ages and much of their history as a people -pogroms, religious persecution and the Holocaust- were played out here. One synagogue is a memorial to all those killed during WWII, with names and dates being hand painted on the walls during the 50's. During the Communist regime, these names were painted over and had to be re-written again in the early 90's. What tenacity.

The Old Jewish Cemetary was fascinating! According to Jewish custom, burial is the only option after death, and it is forbidden to disturb a grave once it has been established. And so, over centuries of life in the ghetto, people have been buried on TOP of one another, yeilding a strange, Tim Burton like garden of crooked headstones and meandering paths. Apparently the cemetary is 10 bodies deep and is one of the largest and oldest in Europe.

On the final morning I was very keen to see the Mucha Museum as Alphons Mucha is one of my favorite artists; he is an especially interesting artist as he also has a strong association with Paris during the fin de siecle period. Greg took DouDou for a long walk to allow me to enjoy the gallery undisturbed. Among the posters that made Mucha famous were also some exceptional paintings, including an especially moving one called 'Star'. I love how I go to a museum to see a certain painting or painter, then in turn get excited about something new from my visit. I walked away wanting to know more about French actress Sarah Bernhardt (who had a 6 year contract with Mucha to do her publicity posters) as well as Mucha's lesser known painting career.

After a final look at the Municipal Hall (designed by an amalgam of Czech artists) and to munch on a 'big weiner' we headed home, happy to have experienced this warm and lovely city.

My First Mothers Day ( a few months late)

I wrote this many months ago, before Mothers Day, but was not satisfied that it really hit the nail in my head. I've read it again and it is close, but still not exact....perhaps I am still searching for the meaning of motherhood. Perhaps I will search for it, and find it, and search again for my whole life as my relationship with my son changes? Anyways, here is what I imperfectly put into words:


For my own Mother Day -my very first- I have been trying to put into words what this role means to me. It means a whole lot, I know. When Avery was born (my friend Jennifer's baby, who's birth I was blessed to be at) it shook my foundations; but when William was born it was even more profound, changing what and where those foundations existed...as you see I still struggle for the right analogy, the right phrases to capture what his coming has meant to me. I still don't have it quite right.


It has somethig to do with role. Being a Mom puts you in the club. Passing other mothers (and a few fathers) with children in pousettes, we give each other a knowing nod. I know she gets it, like fellow combat soldiers or bikers on life's highway. Greg has noticed that I am much happier living in Paris since William has arrived: I now know what I do, have some answer for those inquisitors at cocktail parties (not that there have been many of those) asking 'so what do you do?'. I 'do' motherhood, big time. The yoga I practise now includes my baby; the books I read are to help me raise him well; the shopping is to meet his needs (and 'cause the clothes are so darm cute) and the decorating.....doesn't exist! Almost everything is about him and for him. Perhaos this is unbalanced and the pendulum will need to swing back to center at some point. Perhaps, but for now I am reveling in the intensity of the role.


This new role has forced me to be different, think different and act different. Its not all about me anymore, or even me and Greg. Its about William (usually) and what William needs (mostly). I think this is what I was struggling so hard with a few months back. I was losing the old me and hadn't found the new me yet. For someone who once upon a time was questioning whether she even wanted to be a Mom this was a tough transition. Face it, Greg and I had it pretty good! A happy relationship, lovely home, good jobs, great friends...I wondered what a baby would do to all of that. Quite a lot, as it turned out. But I no longer worry about it....these changes are more than OK.


I used to say you did not need to have a child to have children in your life, and I still believe that to be true. It is wonderfully fulfilling to be an auntie, a godmum or a Big Sister. But with William's arrival I now feel that having a child is one of the most important and fulfilling things I could do with my life. Author Abraham Verghese writes that children are a foot wedged in the door of mortality and this feels true; that it is important to know you will leave a little bit of something good behind you when you die. Though children do help us elude death, is the task of their raising that is so fulfilling. But he also writes that as satisfying as it is to cheat death, it is most important to make something beautiful of your life; that beautiful thing right now is William.



And the new me is a Mom...so again what does that mean? It means I'm the one up at 4 am feeding him. It means I buy, wash and choose his clothes each day. It means I notice the moment he stills his play in need of a nap. It means I get to delight in his giggles and cherish his small body. It means I have the right to touch, and hold, and wash, and feed, and cuddle and play with this amazing baby. I get to watch his 'aha' moments as he rolls over and grabs at life. I get to be the one he wants when the chips are down, and know that I can soothe him just by my presence.

That's huge. That's powerful. That's being William's Mum.

(and Happy Mothers Day to everyone else in the club!)

I DO love Paris in the Springtime

Yesterday I took William to the park to run his bare toes through the grass for the first time. I don't know who was more thrilled, him or me!. As we lolled on the grass I looked around and was struck by how special Paris is in springtime. We all know the song, and Paris in Spring is practically a cliche, but there is just something about it....

Like many places the first hint of spring is the crocuses (crocii?) poking their sweet little faces out from the still dead, still cold earth. Then, in what appears to be an effort to speed Spring along, the florist shops begin to sell 'jonquil' or daffodils; this encouragement must work because before long daffodils are springing up everywhere: in gardens and parks or, more intrepidly, along roadways or naturalized in the few natural areas Paris has.

Then slowly, softly, unknowingly, Spring starts to happen. One morning the air is softer, the light more liquid. Suddenly, instead of going home for dinner in the dark, the sun is still up. People begin to shed their big parkas (although Parisians must be a cold blooded lot as they cling to their winter coats for an exceedingly long time) in favor of flirty skirts and billowy scarves. Overnight, leaves pop out on the trees. Then the chestnut trees bloom, which is a pretty sight as they march up the grand boulevards. Before you know it, the sun has more than a hint of warmth when it caresses your face.

I know what I describe here is very much how Spring arrives in every other part of the Northern Hemisphere (well, except Ottawa where Spring is that week between slush and humidity). But there is something special about it here, a languidity of arrival, like it is taking its time and enjoying the process. In this way, the Season of Spring is very like French people. For I think more than anything it is the way people respond to Spring here that makes it special.

As Willsy and I lolled in that park, there were plenty and I mean plenty of other lollers. Tourists sat on benches to ease their tender tootsies, businessmen loosened their ties as they watched their Blackeberries, and lovers sprouted on the grass like seeds just waiting for sun. Teens skipped school to picnic (or more likely had a spare....there aren't too many skippers here) and nou nou's brought out the babies for a stroll. The pace was leisurely, the scene serene, no-one rushed or hurried. The sweet air, the soft grass, the bright flowers were all savored. Collectively, we breathed.

This collective pleasure is what makes Spring in Paris so special to me, indeed, what makes Paris itself so special. The desire -no GOAL- of pleasure is a phenomenon Greg and I notice again and again as it is so different from North American culture. Don't get me wrong: people here work hard, and they have to hurry-to-pick-up-the-kids-at-daycare-so-they-can-make-dinner too. But relaxation is OK. People make time for it. Moments are savored. Pleasure is on the to do list. I hope this ability to savor -moments, people, seasons- is a habit that I learn and keep from my time here in Paris.

Four Months Old!

Hello everybody! My name is William Gregory Jack Lamarre, and this blog is about me. I get called all sorts of names such as Willsy, Willy G, W and DouDou (this is the pet name French people use for teddy bears, and children. When I was in hospital my baby nurse kept telling me 'aller doudou!' to get me to eat more, and the name stuck). All I can say is don't call me late for dinner because I am a growing boy! At my latest check up I was 7 kilograms and 64 com long. I am big enough ow to wear some of the baby clothes that my Dad once wore, such as the sailor suit in the picture at left.

At 4 months old life is very busy. After a good night's sleep (waking up only once for a snack) I am alert and ready to play. My favorite toy right now is my own two hands....they are fascinating! And very useful for grabbing toys and for chewing on (Mummy says I am probably getting teeth already). I also learned to suck my thumb which is comforting. This way I can put myself to sleep, and soothe myself if I am upset. Mum and Dad figure I will give it up once school starts should thumb sucking become a habit.....but school is a long way off for me and I have a whole lot of learning to do before then!

In the last month I have gotten really good at rolling. I push off with my legs and lift my bottom over a few inches at a time; this way I can circumnavigate my Ikea mobile, and turn myself around in my crib. Of course, I do get my feet wedged in the bars sometimes and have to holler for Mum to rescue me.

During yoga play with Mum I also learned how to lift my head up while on my tummy. Before now, Mum and Dad kept giving me 'tummy time' which I found a real bore, and a good excuse to put my head down and rest. But the other day, Mum rolled me on my tummy and I kept my head up. I see now that the world is far more interesting this way! I like to look outside and see our plants, the blue sky and the interesting buildings outside.

Dad and I were playing the other day and he tickled me under my chin which made me laugh out loud! Mum and Dad seem to think this is a wonderful sound as they keep tickling me...maybe I created (two) monsters! Dad is wonderful fun as he plays airplane with me and gives me my bath every night.

My parents seem to really enjoy travelling and have taken me to several places this month. Our first trip was by car to Val d'Isere so Dad could do something called skiing. I never figured out what this is as I spent a lot of time sleeping that weekend (Mum says I was having a growth spurt). But the Alps were beautiful, and both Mum and Dad got to ski so they were happy. The best part for me was taking the train back to Paris. Not only did I not have to sit in my car seat for so long, but the scenery whipping past is really fun to watch! Mum says it makes her sick but because I like it she has to sit by the window. She's a nice Mummy.

Next Mum and Dad took me to the south of France. Daddy had to do something called 'business' and we went with him because we would miss him too much if he went by himself. We did a tour of a great big church where Mary Magdalene is buried (who is she? I wonder) and had some nice lunches out on patios in the sun. In Grenoble we went up a telepherique for a view of the city below. I'd never been up that high before! Then Mum and Dad took me to some caves that were used for observation during WWII but they were not scary as there was plenty of light coming in. The only part I did not like about this trip was that Mummy kept wanting to shop, which is very boring for me and I start to cry. Mum says I take after my Dad as he hates shopping too!

We had lots of great visits this month. I got to meet my Grandpa Lamarre and Heather who babysat me so Mum and Dad could go on a date. I also met Mum and Dad's friends Angie and Rene and Tracy and Phil. Everybody was really nice to me and we played a lot.

Well, everybody, that's what is happening with me this month. All this activity has worn me out....I think I will go take a nap!

Love, William

Wee William at Three Months

William woke up happy and giggling this morning, as if he knew it was his three month 'anniversaire'. (He may not be so happy later today when he gets his innoculation!).

He is absolutely gorgeous. I say this objectively even if I am his Mum. His newborn skinniness has given way to a delicious plumpness, especially of cheek and belly! In fact it is a bit tricky to fit a diaper on him between his rotund tummy and relatively skinnier legs. We've had lots of 'security breaches' in his breeches to clean up!!. His hair is softly spikey, and can't decide if it will be blonde or brown. His eye color too remains undecided, alternating between navy blue and brown depending on what he wears, and the light. His skin is creamy soft, his little hands and feet deliciously chubby (although his feet are actually pretty big; he wears 6 mo size socks already!). His ears are small and pink and perfectly formed like two small shells on each side of his face. His lips are full, and his little tongue is always poking out between them....tasting the wind, I say! When he cries, he sticks his lower lip out in a real pout which is so cute.

William is a real little boy when it comes to peeing....all over us and anything else in the way! He has hosed both Greg and I many times, and got my girlfriend right in the eye! The other day he peed his bathwater so an extra rinse cycle was needed. He also went all over the mirror in the washroom at the American Hospital and of course there were no paper towels, only a hand dryer, so I had to leave it as is......

This month he has perfected grabbing things so my days of wearing long earrings are over for a time. He has gotten quite adept at grabbing his rattle and has a tenacious little grip. He is also much better at batting the beads on his mobile, striking them repeatedly and deliberately. During tummy time the other day (which he is not a huge fan of) he pulled his knees up, a precursor to crawling. Although he is less good at holding his head up, he will do it for short periods of time. He loves looking at simple, graphic picture books, an interest that was useful on our recent driving trip to Amsterdam. He also enjoys Baby Ohm, Mummy and baby yoga exercises that I do with him. This mostly involves him watching me stretch but he likes bicycling his legs and 'tiny tugs' on his arms.

Will's personality is emerging as well. We have a sweet, sensitive little guy who loves to be with people; however he can also get overwhelmed by them. We have had a few experiences where he 'melts down' at night after a busy day and so is very hard to console. I have gotten better at calming him, but also respecting his limits. When William feels secure he is a contented baby who smiles and coos and will have a real conversation with you. He likes to wake up slowly and so in the morning he stays in his bed and talks to the pictures on the wall and the clouds outside the window; when we pick him up, he is all smiles. He is also a real cuddler and loves to nap with us (we like it too!).

His is still stubbornly clinging to 2 feedings per night, so when I heard about 'dream feeds' (basically you feed your baby while he is still mostly asleep just before you go to bed) I thought it sounded like a good idea. Well, my attempted dream feed turned into a scream feed! William probably woke up a little bit too much and so his sleep pattern for the night was disrupted. From there he woke up every HOUR AND A HALF.....what a nightmare. I've decided that feeding twice at night ain't so bad!

We are working on getting him to take a bottle (of expressed milk) more often to give Greg and I a little more freedom. So far he is reluctant, preferring Mummy's nice boobies to that nasty plastic nipple! We will perservere......he is a very appreciative diner, with an impressive appetite. His feeding pattern is maturing so he only needs to eat every 2 or 3 hours now. He also feeds much more efficiently, taking 10 minutes or so rather than his previous 20 to 30. Both these things have given me a bit more freedom. Last weekend I was able to get out to see the movie "Black Swan" and I felt like a teenager with some unaccustomed freedom!

At three months, our lives have settled into more of a pattern. William naps three times per day for an hour of more which gives me some time to catch up on chores or correspondence. I am back at Pilates once a week, which will help me battle my baby bulge (which is mostly gone but I am not yet in my old jeans). He is also going to bed a bit earlier which gives Greg and I some time at night. We have gotten better at grabbing time together when it arises, rather than planning for it to happen. We're learning that it is hard to make firm plans with a baby in our life, and have become much more laissez-faire. Although this makes it harder to keep committments, I think it is encouraging us to be more flexible as individuals. We feel ourselves bonding as a threesome, and can hardly remember what it was like before Wee Will joined our family.